I want to commit to at least posting one sentence every day, summing up each day, so that I look back on what my year was like, each December 31st. 

White history doesn’t mean World history.

There really isn’t a limit to how many times a circle can wrap itself around itself. 

You only know me, because I presented myself to you in a way that was appropriate to my mood. 

therefore, you only know one side of me, because of a certain mood I was in.

This time around, I’ve made myself seem so vulnerable and look like a goody-good. You would never think that I have a history so large and vast as the dark fantasies I have. Nope, no one would ever imagine it. I also notice how you’ve taken comfort in the fact that I would never do anything bad or inappropriate.

Thats what you think though. 

When you look at me, I bet you’re thinking about all the things we talk about, and all the stupid things we’ve done, and you smile to yourself in your head. You probably look at my face and notice all the small things. The way my bottom lip curls up when you tell me something ridiculous, how I raise only one eye brow when I can’t believe what you’re telling me, the way I look down at the ground, when I know you’re staring right at me. You’re probably basking in all the little things I do.

But is it horrible of me, to watch you notice these things and think about how you’re going to leave me, and imagine how you will do it?

writing in analogies makes me feel so much better.

My mind is so scattered. 

At times, I tell myself I dont need you, and I’ll be okay. I’ve always roughed it out this far, by myself, I can carry on like that. That you are just an accessory to my life, and you never really mattered in the first place. 

But then that’s when you send a friendly “hello” my way, and all that becomes lost, and there I am, as naive as ever, staring into your words like a little girl, looking at her mothers wedding dress- so amazed, and drawn by it. 

Although your words draw me in, its your actions that yank on my corset, and make it so hard for me to breathe. I dont want to take the dress off, because it makes me feel beautiful and happy, but the bruises and pinches I feel underneath make me second guess what Im actually feeling.

It hurts when I see you talking to her like that. Not because Im jealous, or angry, its because I feel like all the “I love you’s” and the “You’re mine’s” don’t hold the same value…

I think its superficial and stupid as fuck to make someone you love jealous of you and someone else. What are you aiming to accomplish in your sad pathetic life? Why can’t you understand she loves you, and if you really love her, you don’t need to test her commitment to you.

SHE

FUCKING

LOVES

YOU

So, I saw a post about someone asking whether it was alright for a muslim to go to LGBTQ events and support them. 

I thought it was a valid question to ask, but the response I saw was highly unprofessional. 

They responded with “This topic creates a lot of controversy on our blog and we would rather not discuss it at all, please ask someone else” 

….

what the hell? 

really? 

Okay, well I thought I’d share my opinion on it. 

I think that, going to LGBTQ events are fine.

UNDER CERTAIN CONDITIONS

and those are, to support other human beings in their strive for equality. LGBTQ events are held to become united and equal with other members of society. Just because someone is gay, doesnt mean they should be treated any less equally or with less respect than with someone who is not.

Don’t get me wrong, I myself am Muslim and I am aware that the conjugal relationships between man and man, or woman and woman are deemed unlawful in Islam, but Islam also says that no matter who the person is, from which caste, racial background, or gender

EVERY

MAN

WAS

CREATED 

EQUAL

and they deserve to be treated as such. 

So if, you do decide to attend those types of events, with such a theme, your intention is what matters. If you go with the mindset of everyone is equal, then surely there is no harm in it.

Rape is not a joke.

Rape is not funny

Rape isn’t something you can do and just walk away. 

rape rape rape rape rape rape. 

Saying it over and over again makes me sick. 

My thoughts just go from one extreme end, to another. 

I’ll probably die by having my brain explode into a billion pieces, because of all the crazy thoughts I have. 

At the end of the day, I just want to be married. 

I hate being alone, and not having anyone. I don’t want typical highschool relationships, I want someone, and only one person, forever and ever. 

I feel like sometimes, It’s pointless for me to even be talking to other guys, because what if they aren’t right for me. 

but I just need someone.

Not because I’m a lonely sap, 

but I want to grow and flourish with someone.

This sucks, f’reallllls.